Many Wars, One Peace – Many Lands, One Home
Table of Contents
Preface
On November 3rd, 2023, a suggestion was made at the monthly meeting of the Tavistock Community platform for the formation of a discussion group focused on Current Conflicts. The Tavistock community was established on the 70th anniversary of the Tavistock Institute of Human Relations and it’s a place for Alumni and Friends of the Institute to connect with others, exchange ideas, develop practice, expand learning and work together to create new partnership and work groups, all underpinned by Tavistock methodologies and within a framework hosted by the Institute. Our virtual weekly sessions commenced on November 9th, 2023, under the title ‘Many Wars, One Peace – Many Lands, One Home’. We conducted 13 weekly sessions with a core participation of five to seven members.
Throughout the process, the group expressed the need to broaden the discussion beyond the TC, leading us to organize a virtual open event. This event occurred on February 19th, 2024, with the primary objective being to share ideas and dreams directed towards ‘One Peace, One Home for All’.
This article presents the expectations, experiences, and understandings of six members of the core group/organizers. The writers were tasked with discussing the roles, structures, thoughts on micro and macro levels, shared writing, and the disjunction between expectation and reality. We welcome you, the readers of KAV OFEK to share you insights and reflections with us.
The contributing writers are from South Africa, Italy, United States, Canada/Netherlands, Lithuania/UK, and Israel.
Asta Binkauskaite
The theme of “Many Wars, One Peace – Many Lands, One Home” is particularly significant to me since war erupted in Ukraine. Having been born in the Soviet Union and having witnessed Soviet tanks in Vilnius in 1991, the war brought back all the memories and it became clear that peace is transient.
During the recent group event I was doodling an image in my notebook, which – in hindsight – reminds me of Antoine de Saint-Exupéry’s drawing of an elephant swallowed by a snake. However, in my drawing it might be a monster instead of an elephant. So, this makes me think of ‘a monster in the room’ (take on the proverbial ‘elephant in the room’).
The doodle expresses my experience of the event. I had a feeling of something not happening, of fear, of feeling lost, of difficulty connecting, of awkwardness. In retrospect, there might have been a feeling of walking in a field of mines, or staying still, stilted, not catching life. At the time, I had in my mind a metaphor of mayonnaise not setting – when all the ingredients are there, but will not mix together in a satisfactory way.
I also had a thought that the vision of ‘One Peace… One Home’ is not achievable in this life; it might be a vision for the after-life. Thinking now of the event, I am wondering whether part of the issue was this aim of oneness, which froze or prevented the group from play. The idea of ‘One Home’ in my mind has connotations with Marxism and I associate it with the painful history of my native country.
The freeze at the beginning of the group was poignant; a comment that this silence echoed the silence in the world stayed with me.
Image: Asta Binkauskaitė, from Lithuania (Vilnius), based in UK (London), art psychotherapist and artist, completing a PhD in psychosocial studies on migration and trauma.
Alona Burshtine
The topic of “Many Wars, One Peace – Many Lands, One Home” drew me in from the TC posts in November 2023 and I joined the weekly discussion group. As an Israeli, I’ve experienced many wars and some periods of peace. Being the daughter of Holocaust survivals I understand firsthand that a land is not always synonymous with home.
Entering the small group, I was engulfed with tension, war happened outside my window, I sat in my “safe room” during the first meeting in case a siren sounded. Initially, I didn’t trust the members whom I hadn’t known previously. As the meetings progressed, the tension gradually dissipated and I felt safer within the small group.
Upon deciding to extend our discussions beyond the TC boundaries, the tension resurfaced. In my role as co-moderator for the large event, I relied on the trust built within our small group. Tension was shared by others and one of the members volunteered to take a role of “boundaries keeper” to prevent potential disruptions, such as a Zoom hijack.
At the public event on February 19th, 2024, we had 21 participants of various countries and backgrounds, including four Israelis. The atmosphere was very calm and empathic. Concrete conflicts were not directly addressed. The participants expressed a desire for common grounds, and a desire to avoid causing or experiencing harm.
As one of the moderators it felt good, peace amidst ongoing war. It felt like a success. Reflecting on the event with the small group a week later, I thought it might have been Oneness, that enabled an escape from uncomfortable differences and security in the feeling of belonging.
Since this was a one-time event, I don’t know what could have developed further. However, amidst the line between hope and despair, I find hope wherever people are gathered to communicate. The work in the small group and large group is making our world a better place.
Alona Burshtine, LL.B,LL.M., Groups Facilitator, member of OFEK, Israel
Flooris van der Walt
In a world often marred by conflict and division, the recent gathering themed “Many Wars, One Peace – Many Lands, One Home” stands as a beacon of hope and unity. As participants from various nationalities and religions convened in a spirit of mutual respect and understanding, it was evident that dialogue and cooperation can transcend barriers, fostering a sense of belonging and shared humanity.
The hallmark of this meeting was its commitment to fostering an environment of inclusivity and open dialogue. Through the utilization of the Tavistock method, every individual was allowed to express thoughts and perspectives freely, without fear of judgment or reprisal. This approach facilitated a rich exchange of ideas, allowing for a deeper appreciation of the diverse experiences and viewpoints present within the group.
One of the most striking aspects of the gathering was the genuine sense of empathy that permeated the discussions. Despite hailing from different corners of the globe and adhering to distinct faiths, participants demonstrated a remarkable capacity to empathize with one another’s struggles and aspirations. This shared empathy served as a powerful catalyst for building bridges across cultural and religious divides, fostering a sense of solidarity and interconnectedness.
Moreover, the meeting served as a poignant reminder of the universal desire for peace and harmony. Regardless of nationality or creed, it became apparent that all individuals present shared a common longing for a world free from the scourge of war and conflict. This collective aspiration served as a unifying force, transcending the superficial differences that often divide societies.
In essence, the gathering themed “Many Wars, One Peace – Many Lands, One Home” exemplified the transformative power of dialogue and mutual respect. By embracing diversity and fostering a culture of understanding, participants demonstrated that despite the many challenges that confront our world, there remains hope for a future characterized by unity and peace.
Flooris van der Walt, South African/Swiss, clinical psychologist, and psychodynamic therapist, facilitating workshops on “Building Courage to Face Change and Uncertainty” and “Healing Collective Trauma”.
Matthijs Kronemeijer
The February 19 event, of which I was a moderator, was the result of weekly online meetings of a small international group of people that over time morphed into a “preparation team”. Since October-November 2023 we met consistently and shared our experiences and views. Familiarity with the Tavistock approach varied widely among us.
I volunteered for the moderator role to make sure that the event would happen. I was aware of certain strains in the group that for reasons of my own (good or bad) I felt able to contain. In doing this role I prioritized the process of the group over my substantive interests.
During the preparation phase, the character of this “open” event shifted towards a more typical group relations event, bounded by strict timing and an agreed-upon script. The script proved time-consuming to produce. Different agendas in the team complicated things more. Matters of communication and role-division among ourselves suffered as a result.
During the days before the event I felt significant anxiety. I entered the event uncomfortable with my role as moderator, because I would necessarily (as I believed) be withholding my own content to hold the group. I was encouraged by Alona Burshtine as a co-moderator because of her personality and experience, but was keenly aware of our different identities: man/woman, secular/religious, non-Jewish/Jewish.
I had expected questions from participants about the nature and content of our previous discussions, but they did not come. A longer introduction might have produced a different effect. I also anticipated that one team member would contribute music but had not expected music of an experimental kind at the very start. I experienced it as unsettling and an attempt to assume leadership. I had a kintsugi video ready at hand as a “reframe”. This I then shared to bridge the gap between this member and his contribution and what else I believed was present in the system. As we went on my confidence increased.
I had expected that the other preparation team members would take a more active part in the conversation at the event than they did. I was somewhat frustrated that they did not, but did not consider calling them out, suspecting legitimate reasons for some. One team member tried to step up by sharing a formative personal experience, but it did not elicit a response. Halfway through I made my own identities explicit: to create clarity about our leadership, to bring in religion as a potential topic for discussion, to create some kind of equilibrium.
The silence during most of the event I interpret as a consequence of the unclarity of the roles and interconnections in the group; it was unclear who was in the “preparation team” (the term postdates the event) and who wasn’t, or who had invited whom. In addition to that, four Israeli and one Arab names stood out on the Zoom screen, which made the ongoing Israeli-Palestinian conflict a hidden presence in the room. These visible bits of information largely shaped where the discussion went.
Matthijs Kronemeijer is an independent Christian scholar. Parenting, writing, and volunteer projects take up most of his time. He lives in Toronto, Canada.
Joseph E Wise – A Peace Piece
My interest in this project stems from larger interests in Group Relations and the Tavistock. TC is an exciting potential space where GR-informed pursuits can flourish, across international boundaries. I am personally invested in the TC, having been in a Cultivator role.
In November 2023 there were discussions in TC after the Hamas attacks, and I was interested in continuing the dialogue. I offered my Zoom as a way to enhance the dialogue. Our group formed under the banner “Many Wars, One Peace – Many Lands, One Home” and we had our first weekly meeting on November 9th, 2023. We talked about the Israeli-Hamas war, connecting the sentiments to many historical conflicts. A special moment occurred on December 21st, 2023, when many, from our TC group, participated in an OFEK large group, giving us a feel of the vitality of large groups. Our TC group began planning an event of our own, slated for February 19th.
As we began planning for our “Many Wars, One Peace – Many Lands, One Home” event, it was co-occurring with American Presidents’ Day. I thought it was best to request Tavistock or another member provide the Zoom link for our event. Interestingly, the Tavistock Institute declined to provide Zoom resources for our event. In the lead up, several posted to various listservs to advertise. I posted to the “G-P list” (a group-psychotherapy email moderated by Dr Weinberg, hosted on APA servers). In inviting others, this was the first time TC made contact with groups outside of TC.
In preparations leading to the February 19th event, I coordinated with our Zoom Host Bob Hsiung. I would become Co-Host with him, and focus on Managing the Boundary. Given the controversy of this topic, I was prepared to remove disruptive members—I would be providing security. During the event, I was vigilant about the boundary and the possibility of removing a Zoom-bomber. This left me in a listening mode, and I did not contribute to the verbal discussions much. I was on guard/sentry (which was my brief comment at the event, linking to Oct 7th, by saying “what happens when the sentry falls asleep?”). As it would turn out, one attendee inadvertently ‘shared screen’. I jumped into action, calling out that person and quickly shutting that down on Zoom.
In terms of review and where we go from here, I feel like the “Many Wars, One Peace – Many Lands, One Home” has been a success, both in the small group meetings and the larger event. Moving forward, it would be exciting to build on this by hosting a Group Relation Conference (online, I suppose) with this title. I could imagine our group being the staff.
Joseph E Wise, MD is a child, adolescent, adult psychiatrist and psychoanalyst in private practice in Brooklyn, NY, USA. He is also a Certified Group Psychotherapist (CGP), and has consulted at GRCs. joseph.wise.md@gmail.com
Alessandro Dolci (Rome, Italy)
One of the most remarkable aspects of the initiative, from the point of view of us Tavistock Community, was the openness of the event to ‘outside’ participants. The invitation was extended beyond members of our community, and even beyond people belonging to the vast territory of ‘Group Relations’. A perfect example of what, in Tavistock jargon, could be defined ‘crossing the boundaries’. As the result, no one of us really knew what kind of people would join the Zoom session and (more importantly) what kind of unexpected ‘chemical reaction’ could result from such heterogeneous assembly of different valences. This, given the theme of the meeting, raised a quite remarkable amount of anxiety.
The surprise effect was magnified by the fact that, after the opening of the moderators, the first intervention was the recitation of an original poem titled ‘Sacri-ficium’, where my voice was unexpectedly surrounded by any kind of electronic sound effects created in real time. The poem and the performance are dedicated, as a gift, to Yusuf Kaplan, spiritual adviser and member of The Tavistock Community, who helped me in the journey of private life. Yusuf inspired the poem and sound performance, and conceived also the phrase ‘Many wars, One Peace’ from where the initiative started. During the event, this personal dedication was extended to all the people suffering from war and oppression. I wonder how this contributed to set the ‘tempo’ of the meeting and maybe the answer is embedded in what is written by the dear fellows of our small group. Working with them was a unique, enriching experience and I am so grateful for this!
What I can say is that if outside the ‘soundtrack’ was the one of violence and war, inside the ‘sound’ was the one of Peace. It tells much about the foundational concept of exile, which is always somewhere else in space and time, and always outside. There is no exile in the here and now. There is no exile inside.
The outside is the Other. So, to live out of exile, to fully live in the here and now we are called to look our Other in the eyes. Cain, the Criminal, the Doppelgänger, transcends space and time. This main protagonist of our History, in the form of the Tyrant or the Terrorist, assumes now the shape of the Great Guardian.
Good news, because it means this is the Last Step. But to enter inside, we need to overcome our Fear of Victory and take the Third Way between the two pillars of the Paranoid-Schizoid Position of eternal war and the Depressive Position of hopeless surrender to the Labor of Sisyphus that is the evil.
The Third Way is the way of LOVE, where the outside and the inside become One. Let’s go!
Alessandro Dolci, composer, pianist, creative, member of The Tavistock Community. Rome, Italy
Concluding
In summary, the decision to engage in shared writing for KAV OFEK was driven by the aim to capture a wide array of perspectives on a singular event. While the process itself was largely positive and tranquil, it also shed light on certain internal issues within our group. Matters such as boundaries, entitlement, and conflicts, which had lain dormant during the event, suddenly surfaced during the writing process. Interestingly, it appeared that the setting of our small group provided fertile ground for these conflicts to emerge.
Our small writing group with the support of the editing committee, effectively addressed and contained these conflicts. As a result, we are pleased to present the final outcome to you today. We encourage our readers to actively engage with the article and to share their thoughts and comments with us.